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"Happily married couples aren't smarter, richer, or more psychologically astute than others. But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other from overwhelming their positive ones."
"Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse."
The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John M. Gottman
Summary:
Gottman draws on decades of research to provide a science-based approach to building strong and lasting relationships.
Gottman recounts observing a couple whose marriage thrived because of small daily rituals, like expressing gratitude every night. Such simple habits form the foundation of lasting partnerships.
Key Concepts:
Enhance Your Love Maps: Know your partner’s world intimately.
Nurture Fondness and Admiration: Focus on each other’s positive traits.
Turn Toward Each Other: Respond to bids for connection.
Let Your Partner Influence You: Share decision-making power.
Solve Solvable Problems: Address issues calmly and collaboratively.
Overcome Gridlock: Respect differences and find common ground.
Create Shared Meaning: Build a life with shared goals and values.
Practice Kindness: Small acts of care build emotional reserves.
Conflict Management: Focus on repair, not perfection.
Appreciate the Ordinary: Celebrate daily moments of connection.
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